Home.

We were scheduled to arrive in Cedar Rapids around 10pm last Monday night.

Instead, our plane landed around 1:30am on Tuesday morning and we didn't pull into our driveway until after 2am.  (Only Maggie and Cece were able to really sleep on the flight from Frankfurt to Chicago so it was a long trip for us all).

Despite being awake for almost 24 hours the kids did surprisingly well. There was a slight meltdown when we approached passport control in Chicago (all four wanted to be carried which was pretty much physically impossible) but things definitely could have been a lot worse.

We picked up our bags in Cedar Rapids and walked out to the minivan.  Maggie took one look and said, "Why our car so small?"  (Yes, our Italian rental van was so big that it made our minivan seem small).

When the kids woke up on Tuesday morning, it was almost like Christmas.  They were so excited to see all of the clothes and toys that they'd forgotten they had. 

Maggie wandered around her room exclaiming, "My American Girl doll!  My tiara!  My treasure chest!"

The past week has been a blur.  Our house is under construction and so we're living on our second floor of our house, temporarily washing dishes in the bathroom sink.  We've eaten a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  I just finished unpacking tonight after the kids went to bed.  We've been so tired that I could barely stay up until 8:00 most nights last week.

But it is good to be home.  In some ways it feels like we've been gone for ages and in other ways it seems like we never left.

The question we're asked most often is if we would do it again, if given the opportunity. 

And everyone, including the kids, is in agreement.  Yes, we would love to go back again.

And We'll Miss...

Anna, Stefania and Silvia in the Italian CIMBA office. 

The CIMBA office staff have gone above and beyond to make our stay in Italy a success. 

The running joke is that I always greet Silvia with, "Ciao Silvia!  We have a problem..."  And Silvia has graciously solved all of our problems.  I like to think we helped keep her job interesting.

They have been so welcoming to our kids that Cate is already trying to figure out how to keep them in our lives after we return home.  She wants Stefania to come to Iowa City to be our nanny and Silvia to marry Uncle Devo...

Stella

We frequent the same tabacchi (mini grocery store) virtually every day.  The owners, Bruna and Diego, get a kick out of my very “American” purchases which usually consist of a small jar of Skippy, Pink Lady apples, and Coke Zero.

I don’t drink coffee (which is unheard of in Italy) but I do enjoy my Coke Zero.

Each can of Coke Zero has a word printed on the side as part of Coke's Italian advertising campaign.  We’d translated a few:  boss, friend, rockstar.

Last week my can read, “Stella.”

“I wonder what ‘stella’ means in Italian,” I said to my brother.

“We should look it up,” he replied.

Cate piped up from the other room, “It means star.”

Devin and I looked at each other.

“Where did you learn that?” I asked.

“From Anna, the Italian babysitter,” was the reply.

I’m constantly amazed at how much Italian Cate and Ben are absorbing.  I wish that I would have figured out a way for them to learn Italian prior to our trip.

Italy: Things We Like

Rock Star Explosion Candy

This is hands down our favorite Italian candy.  It comes in three flavors:  Cola, Cherry and Orange.

 

(Chris, Cate, and I are partial to Cola, which is weirdly good.  Ben and Maggie prefer Cherry).

Squatty Potties

One thing we won't miss about Italy:  squatty potties

Squatty potties are everywhere in Italy---restaurants, public bathrooms, on the university campus.

 

They are challenging under any circumstances, especially for Maggie who seems to be a magnet for the squatty potties.  Imagine:  Me, crouched down, trying to keep my 3-year-old upright (and keep all of her clothing dry...) while my 3-month-old sleeps in the Baby Bjorn.

 

 

We are all developing new skills on this trip...

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends







Due to Chris’ travel schedule it’s not uncommon for me to have all the kids, by myself, on a regular basis in Iowa City. 

People often say to me, “I don’t know how you do it.”

And my reply is typically, “I don’t always do it well, but I do it.”

While this is true, it is also true that I couldn’t do it without the help of my family and friends. 

This is particularly true of our 5-week stint in Italy.  It’s been a great success, both personally and professionally but there is no way I could have done it without help.

My friends in Iowa City helped before we left by entertaining my kids so that we could pack, by sending treats and books for the kids to enjoy on the plane, by bringing us (much-needed) pizza and conversation, and by preparing a street-side farewell that brought tears to my eyes (see below).



 

 

 

 

And there is no way I could have balanced teaching and my family without full-time help in Paderno.  As the “working spouse” for the first time in our marriage, I was the one leaving for work, meetings, and dinners.  Chris stepped into the role of stay-at-home dad with ease and now has the CIMBA staff in awe of his parenting prowess.  Devin became a pro at changing diapers, driving Cate and Ben to Italian school, putting the baby to bed, and warding off temper tantrums.

We also benefitted from great neighbors in Paderno.  There were two other families in our apartment building who had a parent teaching in CIMBA.  Having other kids to play with literally right outside our door helped us keep our sanity, particularly during the first weeks which were unseasonably cold and rainy.

 



 

Although I will miss my Italian friends and neighbors greatly, I'm very much looking forward to sitting poolside with my Iowa friends and neighbors next week.  We've missed you!

 



Cece

Conca Verde has everything. Even WIFI.

Conca Verde has everything except shade.

And so although Cece has yet to get in the water she has spent a lot of time lounging by the pool.

Summer is here!

My final exams are finished. Grades are posted. It's 85 degrees and sunny.

And Conca Verde opens at 9 am. 

Summer has officially begun!

On Living a Simple Life

Our time in Italy is drawing to an end. 

I gave my final exam yesterday.  The students left today.  The other faculty members in our apartment building head home over the next few days.

Given how stressful our first week in Italy was, it’s hard to believe that we really do feel “at home” here.

I miss many of the conveniences of home, of life in America.  The ability to order a pizza when it’s too hot to cook.  Ordering my groceries online and having them delivered, if I like.  Having a dryer that dries my clothes within 60 minutes.  Knowing that Wal-Mart is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if I need anything. 

Even on a holiday.

And while the fast-paced-instant-gratification culture of American does have its downsides, there is some comfort in knowing you can get a gallon of milk or loaf of bread at 3:00 in the morning.

That said, I do think the ease of, well, everything in America has made us a more wasteful, less appreciative culture.  Everything is fast.  Everything is super-sized.  It’s easy to throw things away because we have so much and we can always get more.

I’m amazed at how quickly we adjusted to living in a 1200 square foot apartment.  Cate, Ben and Maggie share a room, with 3 twin beds pushed together to make one big bed.  No one has complained.

At home we have a basement full of toys.  A basement full of toys that rarely gets played with.

In Italy, they have a few toys—a small Lego set, a princess puzzle, a hair salon kit—and they play with them constantly.

They spend the majority of their time playing together.  All three.  Sometimes just the three of them and sometimes with our neighbors.

This time is primarily spent building forts, making card houses, coloring, designing paper wings, planning birthday party games for our neighbors, playing UNO, and reading.  (In the interests of full disclosure there is a fair amount of teasing and name calling as well...this is life with kids, after all).

But it really is a simple life.

I would like to say that we will be able to maintain this lifestyle when we return home but I know that will be hard, if not impossible.  We leave in two days and already Chris and I are pecking at our laptops, comparing calendars, mapping out the next few weeks.

I am ready to come home but I am not ready for drop-offs and pick-ups.  I’m not ready for a traveling spouse.  I’m not ready for a grocery cart filled with fruit snacks and Goldfish.  I’m not ready for weekends packed tightly with activities. 

We are headed home, and I can’t wait.  But I also hope that the pressures of home will wait, at least a few days, to kick back in.

Pizza Making in Asolo

One of the great things about CIMBA is that the program provides many opportunities for day trips and cultural activities.  Faculty members and their families are welcome to participate in any of these activities, free of charge. 

Last Monday we went to Saverio's pizza in Asolo for some pizza making instruction.  Chris and I assumed that we would walk in and just toss the ingredients on the pizza and sit down to eat.

Not so.

In true Italian fashion, the adults were poured a glass of Prosecco, a regional white wine (water for the kids).  Then Saverio (pictured below) gave us a 40 minute lecture on precisely how one makes the perfect pizza.

Although this lecture was a bit long for the kids(!), I loved it because I think highlights how much Italian culture is focused on quality and true enjoyment of food.  Meals are long and leisurely and the focus is on spending time with your friends and family.

He began by telling us that we would soon sample the best pizza in Italy.

It quickly became clear that Saverio is not concerned with churning out pizza after pizza.  He wants to make the absolute best product that he can, as evidenced by his thoughtful discussion of just how much wheat, flour, water and olive oil to include in the dough.  He alters the composition of the ingredients based on the weather (on hot days he uses cold water to prepare the dough).

The heat of the oven.  How the dough is kneaded.  The amount of sauce.  The amount of cheese.  All of these elements go into making the perfect pizza.

We did, ultimately, get to make our own pizzas (under Saverio's supervision). 

And it really was the best pizza we've had in Italy.

Swim!

Finally, after 4 weeks in Italy, it was warm enough to swim.

Well, warm enough for Americans to swim anyway.

We went to Conca Verde yesterday, which is a fantastic pool complex about 15 minutes from our apartment.  There are several pools, a hot tub, and multiple waterslides.

It was 75 degrees and partly cloudy (cold by Italian standards) so we had the entire place to ourselves.

It might be the only waterpark that we've ever been to where we never had to wait in line once.

Swim caps required, goggles optional.

 

(This picture totally cracks me up.  I only wish I would have bought goggles for Cece).

Grotto de Oliero

This was Devin's last day in Paderno.  We took advantage of having three adults on hand to take a road trip north to the Grotto de Oliero.  It was truly beautiful.  Following a short hike we explored a cave and then suited up for a boat ride through the grotto.

 

Afterwards all three kids said it was, "Awesome!"  Cece, who slept through the entire hike, said nothing.

 

We spent the rest of the afternoon at the cafe, playing cards, eating ice cream and drinking beer.  This is, perhaps, one of my favorite things about Italy.  I love that it is culturally acceptable, expected really, to sit in a café for hours.  It's also a wonderful thing that every park or tourist attraction has a café adjacent selling ice cream for kids and alcohol for adults. 

 

It's brilliant, really, and something that we should export to the US. 

 

Outside the Cave of Assassins

 



 

Happy campers before the boat ride.

Reinforcements

Much to everyone's delight Chris returned to Paderno just before bedtime last night, bringing enough Jif to last the week.

I think it's going to be a great week!

Riese Pio X

We spent most of Saturday at a great park in the small town of Riese Pio X.

There was an awesome playground.  There was a little "zoo" with deer, peacocks, chickens, ducks, geese and swans.  And, of course, a nearby café selling gelato (and beer). 

The only downside of the entire day was when I almost choked on a French fry at the café.  Devin was sitting across from me and...did nothing.  Tears were streaming out of my eyes and I could not breathe.  It seriously took him 5 minutes before he realized I was actually choking and he reluctantly slid his beer across the table so I could take a drink. 

He claims he didn't want to wake the baby, who was sleeping in my arms and, miraculously, slept through the entire incident.

The Bar

During the faculty orientation for this study abroad program, the importance of academic rigor was emphasized.  We were also told, repeatedly, that it was a dry campus and students were forbidden from consuming alcohol on site.

The only place they can drink alcohol on campus is at the bar.

Yes, there is a little café (or bar) on campus that serves alcohol and, apparently, in the past it's had to close early because the American college students have literally consumed every alcoholic beverage in the place.

We've found it to be a delightful place to hang out in the afternoons, however, when it's frequented by us and a few locals.  We can walk there in 7 minutes.  They have ice cream, beer and fooseball, which makes it a great way for us to spend an afternoon.

It's actually called "Bar Caffe" and I will admit it's funny to hear the kids ask, "Can we please go to the bar today?"

Marostica

Today we went to Marostica, which is a medieval walled city about 30 minutes from Paderno.  The entire town is enclosed by castle walls, built in 1370.  There are two castles, one facing the main square, and another above the town.  In front of the lower castle is a giant chessboard.  Every other September the town sponsors a live chess game with costumed people playing the part of each chess piece.

Although we didn't see the live chess game, the kids had a great time racing across the chessboard.  Ben played tag with his new Italian friend, Ricardo.

Cate, Ben and Maggie on the chessboard in front of the lower castle.  This picture was taken about 30 minutes after what has come to be known as the "Mighty Marostica Meltdown," which involved all four of my children crying hysterically at an outdoor café facing the main square. 

 

In their defense, it was 11:00 and we were told it was too early for lunch.  It was also hot, almost 90 degrees, which is normal for this time of year but the first time we've seen these temperatures since we arrived.

 

I'll spare you the details and say only that it was so bad that I had to apologize, profusely, to the Italian waitstaff.

 

After a very expensive lunch (!) where my kids ate everything on their plates without complaint, everyone was happy and we proceeded to enjoy the day.

 

This picture was taken before we hiked up to the castle, which you can see at the top of the photo.  Once again, I had Cece in the Bjorn and Devin had Maggie on his shoulders, rendering this trip up the steep hillside a true workout for both of us.

 

On the way up, Cate and Ben were imagining how long it would have taken the knights to ride up to the top of the castle. 

 

"Well, hopefully they rode up on a horse, "one of the kids said.

 

"I have new found respect for the horse," said Devin, as Maggie rode contentedly on his shoulders.

 

"If Devin's the horse and Maggie's the knight, then I guess we are the slaves," commented Cate.

It actually was a pretty tough hike given the almost 90 degree temperatures.

 

 

 

Our reward at the top?  Ice cream, of course.

 

There is a restaurant at the top of the castle and when Cate and Ben saw the parking lot Cate said, "You mean we could have driven up here?!?!"

 

After ice cream Devin took Cate and Ben up to the very top of the castle while Maggie and I played "Go Fish."

 

As usual, Cecilia slept through the entire trip...

Cece Finds Her Hands

Italian School Pays Off

So far Italian school has been a great social experience for Cate and Ben, who are only attending in the mornings.  

Since it's the end of the school year (Friday is the last day) most of their school time is spent at recess, coloring or watching Italian cartoons (this according to Ben, who loves tv so much I'm surprised he's not begging to stay at school all day).

Yet I think they are absorbing some nuances of the language, even if they don't entirely realize it.  Both kids can now count to ten in Italian, for example, something I am unable to do.

And on Sunday, when we were at the Crespano market, Ben's grasp of Italian surprised me.

Maggie and Ben had each picked out an item from the market stall and the vendor was speaking to me in Italian, trying to figure out how many items we had selected.

I understood what he was trying to ask me but I truly lacked the words to respond in Italian and so I fumbled over my response, which contained a lot of "ums" and useless hand gestures. 

Ben rescued me by saying, very clearly, "Due cose" (two things).

When I asked him about it, he just shrugged.

Amazing.

Cross-Cultural Relations

T

Our apartment complex has turned out to be quite wonderful on several dimensions.

First, there are a lot of kids.  In our building there are four apartments occupied by faculty members teaching in the CIMBA program.  Our next door neighbors have two kids and the family below us has three kids.  All the kids are around the same ages and get along really well.  Having playmates for the kids has been invaluable.

In addition, our apartment has some green space, with a small swingset, and a patio (pictured above).  For the kids to be able to walk out the door and have a place to play is another wonderful thing about our location.

In the building adjacent to ours, there are several Italian children who live with their families.  We've seen them from time to time but the kids have been a bit hesitant to play together. 

Today we seem to have broken the barrier.  I'm not sure why today was the day unless all the kids in our building are suddenly a bit more confident now that they have a few days of Italian school under their belts.

After school, all of the kids (including our Italian neighbor) were outside playing soccer.  Using a combination of Italian, English and hand gestures they were able to agree upon the rules of the rudimentary soccer game they were playing.

Then it started to rain.  This caused a delay in the soccer game as all the kids in our building went inside to put on their swimsuits so they could dance and play in the rain.

Part of me wanted to tell them to keep their clothes on, knowing for certain the Italians would think we were crazy.  It was a beautiful day today--almost 80 degrees and sunny--and my kids have been looking for any excuse to break out their swimsuits.  However it's still cold by Italian standards.  Most people we pass on the street are still wearing coats and scarves.

Of course my "pick-your-battles" style of parenting won and I let the kids go out in their swimsuits.  The sight of all of the kids laughing, dancing and playing in the rain was well worth the cost of reinforcing any negative stereotypes about permissive American parenting. 

(Note:  Their Italian playmate did not follow suit and kept his jeans and long-sleeved t-shirt on for the duration of the soccer game).

Before bed tonight I asked Ben, "Did you have fun playing with the neighbor?"

"Oh yeah," was his reply.

"Does he speak English?"  I asked.

"A little," he said.  "But I tried to teach him some."

"Really?"  I asked.  "Like what?"

Ben starts singing and dancing, "Gangham Style!!"

"Um..." I said thinking that the Italians won't let that little boy leave the house until we leave.  "You taught him the words to Gangham Style?"

"Yeah," Ben replied.  "But I didn't teach him the 'sexy lady' part 'cause I know you don't like it."

Clearly Paderno will never be the same.

Adventures in Italian Living: Through Devin's Eyes

Devin and I were just discussing how in the aftermath of tragedy and natural disasters, people are often encouraged to make sense of the trauma through creative outlets, such as writing or drawing.

Yesterday during "Quiet Time" (translation: You all need to go to separate corners of our tiny apartment and BE QUIET or risk my absolute wrath), Devin and Maggie spent some time drawing.

I enjoyed the quiet and I think the time was therapeutic for Devin as well. 

I think it's clear who will get the best Christmas present from Uncle Devo this year...